Frank the Tank

I have taken a brief hiatus from my blog game, but I'm looking to bounce back. Just got home from work and sitting here drinking a nice pop. I feel like the 30 year old dad that got home from T-ball practice after his son ran to third base instead of first. Holy shit, if my kid ever does that he's hand scrubbing the toilets for a solid month.

It was a long day at work. Straight cold callin da shit outta some clients. It is unbelievable what some people consider an acceptable voicemail. The homosexuality literally jumps out of the phone at me on some of them. An image of the blow job teaching fire-crotch from Old School shoots into my mind and I instantly hang up. Or on the other side of the spectrum, some voicemails intimidate you more than a Ray Lewis pump up speech. "Hey it's Bob, if you leave me a shitty message I'm coming to State Farm, and going to swing you around like a wind turbine with your balls." Where is the simple, "You've reached the Jones', we have 2.5 kids, a nice white picket fence, and a kick a$$ Chrysler Mini-Van, leave a message after the beep."

Zane's having his first house party/gathering tonight. I might go to church for the first time in three years to pray that he does a better job at planning it than I did. I still have nightmares of my neighbor walking into my basement at 3 a.m while Canigs is rapping to UGK naked. All 10 girls scattered and stole every blanket I owned. Guys ran out like Frank the Tank after Mitchapalooza, and no honey, KFC was not open in West Omaha at 3 in the morning. The Old School references are a must. Talk about a fabulous movie. So, everyone scattered and I'm left standing there trying to explain why my parents are just really "heavy sleepers" Oh well, I somehow managed to weasel my way out of that one. Hopefully Zane is a little bit smarter than my dumbass. Live and Learn, Crash and Burn.

Jack

My Razor Scooter and Willy Wonka

Ernest Hemingway once said "Blog Drunk, Edit Sober". I will live up to his lofty 1800's expectations as Jack Tull. Social Media is a powerful tool but Blogging might be on a whole other level. Sackjon and I have caved to the pressure of a blog and we plan to re-write the laws.

Today we looked at our rush house and it mine as well have been the god damn Taj Mahal. We are still looking for a kick-ass name that would seal its place in history as the top 3 rush houses in the history of Sigep  (Minus the house Jon Bruning lived in). Grill outs will be frequent, beer will be abundant, and my dad will be offering free psychiatric advice on Sundays (that doesn't mean he'll be handing out free Zoloft). If you got my last joke without looking it up on google your intellectual capacity is above that of the average college student, congratulations, Willy Wonka will be sending a golden ticket your way within the next week (Without Violet the Blueberry). 

This whole blogging thing is completely new to me so I obviously screwed it up the first time, but if you wanna read my pervious blogs go to The Original and you will be blessed with an incredible amount of wit and bliss. I was scrolling threw my Itunes and I came across the song by Smashmouth entitled Allstar. Talk about a song. When I was in fifth grade and learning my multiplication tables and the capital of South Carolina this was probably my fav song. I have memories of arm wrestling Zane and riding my Razor scooter down the street doing half-assed 180s. No wonder my parents questioned my sexuality. Is it just me or does it paralyze everyone else with fear that we are half way done with college? Okay, never mind I'm not going to bring that up because I'll have to steal some Zoloft from the nearest Walgreens. Tying it back in. 

More to come, Stay tuned and I'll leave you with a youtube video that will make you giggle, Is this Hecox as a kid?

Jack Tull